would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
