She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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