Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
