no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
