my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
