when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
