She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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