I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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