So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
