she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
