awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize