Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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