then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
