Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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