he wants to bone in the snuggie
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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