whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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