Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If that was your dad, he is hot
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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