Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
