I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
