you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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