Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
