They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
