We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize