He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
