he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
It all started with a game of naked twister.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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