party gras won. party gras always wins.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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