just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
