you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
