Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
