I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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