It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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