he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
