Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
