she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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