why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
