i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
