Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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