I just threw up on my dentist
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
