Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
