I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
