Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
