oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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