I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
