Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
