So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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