she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
