never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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