He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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