Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her

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(859): View more from Kentucky

While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.

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(512): View more from Texas

I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.

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(812): View more from Indiana

theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred

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(917): View more from New York City

He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.

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(509): View more from Washington

i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron

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(917): View more from New York City

Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.

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