Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize