well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
