Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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