her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
