I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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