That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
