nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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