I hate your face
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Randomize
