I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
