he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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