you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
