I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
