do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
