butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
