that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
