Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
