So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
