I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize