I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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