we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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