Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
