Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
