You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
