This is not my ceiling
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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