Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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