finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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