According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
