im drinking this country out of the recession.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Let's get the cat blown out
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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