I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize